Parenting is just so much fun

I thought I would post something that isn't missionary related - although that would be preferable, I believe.  It has been a quiet summer thus far.  Really, only Scott and Alyssa are home.  I usually leave for work before Dan gets up and he is usually at work when I get home.  I might see him for a few minutes when he gets off work but he is usually anxious to shower and leave again.  Friends hold a powerful place in the life of a teenager, much more so than a parent does - at least on the surface.  Here's hoping that some of that early parenting sticks. 

Dan is itching to move out but is insisting on renting a house with a couple of friends.  The only problem is that he needs a co-signer and this mean dad is not willing to endorse such a foolish plan.  Although Dan is largely a pretty responsible young man, I don't know his friends and I have a bad feeling that I would get stuck with the lease when the boys realized that they couldn't make the $1000+ payment every month.  I informed him this morning that he needs to find somewhere cheaper to live.  He is furious with me.  Some day I hope he realizes that I am trying to help him avoid making silly mistakes rather than trying to control his life.  Maybe he will realize that my life is busy enough without having to worry about his.  I hope all my children come to learn that the life lessons we are trying to teach them are meant to help them be self-sufficient.

There is a certain amount of melancoly that comes with being the parent of teens.  Not every decision they make is a smart one and some of them will have painful consequences.  It is not enjoyable watching the process but the process is necessary for them none the less.  I try to emphasize that "learning wisdom while in their youth"  is not about getting smarter.  Rather, it is about learning to listen to and internalize the life lessons of others so that you don't repeat the same mistakes.  Another lesson I want my children to learn is to look at every decision from a distance.  That means leaning to live life without regrets.  30 years from now, my teenagers will look back on the the desires and decisions of their teen years and either wonder what they were thinking or be happy with the choices they made.  It is invaluable to be able to make decisions in the here and now with the ability to see their consequences from that viewpoint.  There isn't much worse than looking back and feeling that you could have done better if only you were willing to put the effort in or if you had only had the guts to fail.  Failure is okay.  Not pushing yourself and testing your limits is not okay.  How can we possibly learn to live like our Father in Heaven if we allow the petty challenges of life to limit us?  I have failed at a lot of things in my life but I have also succeeded in areas that I believed would be impossible.  As I have aged, my desires and priorities have matured and the things I wanted in my 20's and 30's have become somewhat irrelevant and trivial in many instances.  I have also learned to become much less judgemental - that happens when things don't always turn out the way you planned.

Life can be quite painful at times but we exist to be happy.  Wallowing in our trials and pain is not what the Lord intended we should do.  If that is true, then how can we be joyful in the face of so much pain?  Joyfullness does not prevent or prohibit feelings of sadness or pain but it does provide us a background of faith and surety that He is in charge and "on our side".  That brings comfort and peace to my life.  I know the things I worry about (both the trivial and the very real and serious) are also on His mind.  I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows me.  He lives.