Lucky to be alive

It's crazy how sometimes you just know when something is wrong.  I'm glad that I had a massive prompting this morning to go to the emergency room.

I woke up at 4a.m. and my leg felt as if it was being cut off.  At least I'm imagining that my pain is what that would feel like anyway.  It hurt so bad that I knew I needed medical attention and quickly.

I woke up Jason and told him I was done taking pain medications to mask the pain and I needed to get to a doctor quickly.

After a very long almost 9 hour day in the ER, I found out that I have a blood clot in my left calf.  Thank goodness the blood clot is still attached and is below the knee. 

I now have to take an injection of Lovenox 100mg/ml for 5 days.  Today was my first injection in my stomach (because that is where they found the fattiest tissue) and it hurt so bad.  Then I also have to take Coumadin 5mg by mouth daily for 2-3 months.

This will be a very hard trial for me.  One reason is because I have enjoyed donating plasma for 9 years, twice a week and now I won't be able to do that for a long time and maybe never again.  It was important for me to do this for others since I WAS so healthy and had great plasma to give and also because of the extra income it provided to our family to do fun things once in a while like take them on vacations, go to movies, register for races, and get pizza.  Now that plasma of mine is tainted with a blood thinning medication that I need to have to get rid of my blood clot.

I have much to be grateful for and I need to remember that, especially now when I feel like I've had one of the worst days ever.

I love my family very much and I'm glad I'm still here to be with them.

a letter from Caleb 11-26-12

Dear Mom and Dad,


Got the two padded envelopes, and the letters from alyssa and scott! Havent gotten a box yet, but its probably at the mission office, waiting for someone to come pick it up.

How did dad ship my bike? Was it expensive? I hope not!

I finished the book of mormon again! Its amazing how you can truly get something different out of it everytime you read it.

It is quite warm here. Like 70-85 degrees warm. Its amazing, but it feels a little undeserved. I feel like you have to go through a harsh winter to deserve weather this amazing, but whatever. Every morning it has been foggy. Like foggy enough for you to loose sight of your hand if you put it too far in front of your face. Its the coolest thing ever, but California drivers are terrible in anything except bright sun. If it mists or rains, everyone slows down to waaaaay below the speed they could safely go, which is really funny. I saw some car speeding the other day and cutting in and out of traffic, and it almost hit Elder Healey when we were crossing a driveway as it turned in. Guess what? Utah driver. I feel there needs to be a general confrence address on driving safely.

We were knocking the other day and some guy saw us through his window and wouldnt come out. As we turned away he turned his sprinklers on and they got us really good, but Elder Healey and I turned back to the house and stood there on his poarch smilling at him until he turned them off. Elder Healey had a bottle thrown at him out of a car, with some muttered praise about mormons. It deflected off the air. Apparently some guy threw a big and full gas station cup at some missionaries a few months ago and the Elder caught it and threw it back in his car! I don't know if I believe it, but I want to because its funny. I've decided if something like that ever happens to me Ill yell back "Thanks, I was just praying for a nice drink, its hot!" or something like that. There are a lot of really rude Athiests here. They try to tell you God doesn't exist and that we are delusional and need mental help. I always just bear my testimony, tell them God loves them, and smile at them. Its really funny to see their veins pop.

Please don't publish this part if you do because it's private:

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You can publish the rest if you like:

I opened my bible randomly and came upon the story of the Prodigal Son. I saw it a little differently this time. I've always seen it as a father welcoming his son back even after all the sins and misdeeds he has committed. This time I got a much different look. The Father is so happy that his son has come back, but his older brother is not. His older brother basically says "I have lived the commandments and laws my entire life, and yet when my younger brother really messes up, you let him back in an instant and bless his life majorly. You've never blessed my life in the way that I wanted." I thought that this story was interesting, because it shows that you can commit sin as the younger brother did, but you can also commit sin by thinking that by following the commandments and being a perfect example you deserve to be blessed in the way you want. Thats like saying "Heavenly Father, I've lived a righteous life, now bless me with a great home and a healthy life." We can't bend God to our will, no matter how hard we try. We are of course blessed when we follow the commandments, but how we are blessed is not up to us. Sometimes we are even blessed with hardships, designed to show us our weakness and make us stronger.

I have a firm testimony that Heavenly Father has a plan for us, but that its up to us to decide to listen our not. I know that regardless of the mistakes that we make, He is always standing with his arms wide open waiting for us to come back to him. I have seen this so strongly down here as I have seen people whos lives were wrecked because of decisions they made in their youth. Just as Elder Uchtdorf spoke about a matter of two degrees, or how another prophet taught about one small train switch completely changing the direction of a train all the way across the country, decisions we make now have a lasting impact on the rest of our lives. I have seen many come back to the Lord, who has always stood waiting for them, who have expressed deep sorrow for the blessings they missed out on by not following Him earlier in their life. Especially with those who are inactive, you can immediately tell there is a hole in their life. I hope to never go inactive, because they are some of the saddest people you will ever meet. Someone who once knew the truths that open the mysteries of heaven, who fell away because of work, or friends, or because they merely clung unto the word of God instead of continually holding fast.

The prodigal son was of course welcomed back, but imagine how many blessings he lost in his life during the time he was sinning.

Mom, I am sorry to hear about the pain you are feeling. Dad, the same to you. (Stop breaking and tearing yourselves apart!) I will certainly pray for you. Even though it may be hard, I urge you to pray and only express gratitude. One of Elder Bednars devotionals at the MTC talks about how in times of need we should pray and be thankful for the things we have. Not only will it lift you into a positive state of mind and cause serious reflection on the blessings you have in your life, but it will strengthen your testimony. I know this to be true, and I am so thankful for Elder Bednars talk in my own life. I know there is a reason I have been called to this paticular mission, and I am so thankful to Heavenly Father for trusting me enough to let me have this sacred experience. There truly is no more important work than inviting others to come unto Christ.

With much love,

Elder Clark

a letter from Caleb 11-19-12

Hi Mom and Dad,

We have taught quite a few lessons recently! It's been a busy week, especially being on bike.


Please don't publish any of the following, as it is private and not for the eyes outside of you and dad.

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California has amazing weather. I did laundry outside today in shorts and a t-shirt, and was warm. I love this. I love palm trees. I don't love the huge gap between those who are rich and those who are poor here. It's really disheartening to see so many people struggle. We are only 40 miles from Mexico, which explains all the taco places. We saw a mexican jump into someones car yesterday. Like the car didn't even stop, the guy just ran out into the road, and jumped in the back seat of a moving car. The balls.

USC and UCLA was Saturday. It got to be a mess here.

Traffic is scary. Everyone moves very fast. When it rains, everyone hits each other, because they don't know what to do. I wonder how many would die on the road if it ever snowed. We got invited snow boarding. Snow boarding here is strange, because you just go up the mountains a little bit and theres snow. And its warm. People snow board with their shirts off because its like 60 degrees out but theres still snow on the ground. I told you this place was weird.

People keep telling me I have pretty eyes. So good work. but it's really creepy. There are only brown and blue eyes here.

Thats pretty much all I have right now. I have read the book of mormon though again, and now I'm starting over. The book of mormon is incredible. I have watched it change peoples lives, and I haven't even been here a week!


Love, Elder Clark


Bike progress?

Dealing with it I guess.

It's been a rough week.  I am in a boot and crutches and was told to not bear any weight on the hurt leg/ankle/foot at all.  Usually I mind that instruction except when getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.  I'm not going to dig out the crutches just to go 10 feet, pee, then go back to bed.  So at that time I walk on the hurt ankle/bottom of leg/foot.

My attitude has been somewhat sour.  For the most part I smile and pretend like it doesn't bother me and I crutch around like no body's business.  However the pain has been intense and more than I feel I can handle at times.  It's amazing how many people ignore me, especially when I need help at home, work and at stores.  So many doors don't have handicap buttons on them. Now how am I to open doors when my hands are full with crutches?  Whatever, I manage, but in the meantime usually put weight on the hurt leg because I have to get the door open to get through it.

I can't do any weight bearing exercise at all like Zumba or running, and was told no swimming, biking or elliptical until the pain is gone so those are out too. So what's left?  Basically Body Sculpting (crunches, planks, pushups, weight lifting (sitting in a chair or standing on one foot).  I'm tired of this and want to run a really long ways away, but know that when I'm finally not injured in 6-8 weeks that I'll have to re-learn to run so running longer than 2-3 miles won't be for a while.

Thanksgiving was super hard for me as I obviously couldn't do much and depended on others to help me cook.

I managed to prop my body up on a bench in the kitchen so I could sit on my butt, then prop my leg up on another bench so it wouldn't be hanging (the boot weighs a ton) and then prepare as much as I could.  I'm sure Jason would have done everything, but I didn't want him to have to do it all.

I managed to make my pretzel/jello salad, brocolli salad, peel all the eggs and make the filling for deviled eggs, peel the squash, cut up all the lemon and banana bread, make a cherry pie and clean out the fridge and rearrange it so we could get more in there.

Jason was awesome and did a ton of things to get ready for our day.  He cooked the turkey, stuffing, potatoes, squash, filled the deviled eggs and did all the running for me.  I was asking him constantly, "can you get this out, or that out, or can you put this away, can you get me a clean dish towel, can you do this, can you put this in the oven, etc."  I'm sure everyone (especially my teens that I picked on way more than usual yesterday) couldn't stand me by days end.

No shopping for me this year, although only once I can ever remember going Black Friday shopping.  I'm a huge fan for shopping local and supporting small businesses so I don't like going to those stores that
1.  Are open on Thanksgiving (we should get to spend time with our families and so should the people who work at those stores).
2.  Have people camped out for days just to save $100 on a TV or other electronic they really don't need.
3.  Have people pushing and shoving because they are so dang rude.
4.  Or big name stores that open between midnight and 3a.m. just to beat the next store out of their deals.
It's such a rude day and I really can't stand it.

I have to work at my job today.  WHY?  Because I've only worked at this job a whole year and others have been here for 5-10 or longer years.   I have to work today which totally bites, so while my children are home from school I'm here.  I don't feel this place should even be open today because nothing is going on, none of our reports are even coming through, no e-mails are coming in my inbox and everyone who is here seems grumpy or is talking about how they would rather not be here.  

It's frustrating for me to even be here.  At least I only have 6 days left of full time work.  Today and all next week since the company declared that my last day will be November 30th, even though I put in for my last day as December 21st.  They hired someone early and she is staying so I got a two week notice and I'm out the end of November.  I guess I shouldn't be upset for this is what I wanted (to work less and be with my family more), but then again it's a bummer because I did expect to finish off the year working full time and to be out of work 3 weeks before Christmas will be tough on our family.  Guess I shouldn't have been so dang nice and given my work a 7 week notice to leave.  Should have waited and stuck them with a lousy 2 week notice.  Thing is, this job is sooooooooooooooo stressful and takes 1-2 months to learn it, so I thought I'd be nice by not only giving extra notice, but offering to train the new person so it wouldn't put strain on everyone else around here.

I hope I find a part time job soon.  I hadn't started looking since I THOUGHT I was working until Dec. 21st and now I'm not so I better find another job soon.

On a good note, I ordered pies from Perkins for our Thanksgiving dinner this year.  A lemon meringue for Jason and whoever else wanted it and a Chocolate Peanut butter pie for me and who ever else wanted it.  My pie was amazing and I was in heaven for the whole 10 minutes that I ate it.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving and got to spend some of it with people they loved.

MRI results.

The medical write up was quite confusing, however the doctor called me and explained the test results in English and it translates to this: 

I have an interior and anterior sprain.

Bad Bone bruise. 

Tendinitis on the outside of the ankle. 

Bone Marrow Edema. 

Osteochondroma Defect which is a benign tumor that contains both bone and cartilage and usually occurs near the end of a long bone. This tumor, one of the most common benign bone tumors, takes the form of a cartilage-capped bony spur or outgrowth on the surface of the bone. It is sometimes referred to as osteocartilaginous exostosis. 

There is a lot of swelling in the bottom part of the ankle. 

He also found the start of arthritis (lucky me). 

So I'm in a boot and crutches for 6-8 weeks.

I'm not allowed to use the elliptical until the Bone bruise feels better.

The doctor said he wasn't sure how I managed to run 18 miles on this foot after injuring it, he said a Bone bruise is one of the most painful things to have. 

On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the worst pain ever.  I'm probably at a 7-8.  I need some serious drugs and all I have in the house is ibuprofen or Alleve.

I hope I heal quickly so I can run within 8 weeks.

Frustrated with my injury

So I'm sitting here WAITING on a call from the clinic to see if my insurance has finally approved another MRI.  Seriously this waiting is killing me.

Here's the story if you want to read on:
The last Friday of October, on October 26th, I did this AWESOME Halloween race called Screaming Pumpkin.  You could choose between a marathon, marathon relay or quarter marathon (6.55 miles).  My friend and I did the quarter marathon.   While in the race I had to get a picture and it was off the running trail.  So at 1.3 miles into the race, I went off the path and stepped into a ditch that I didn’t see was a ditch because it was filled with leaves so I fell over a foot, rolled the ankle and it hurt bad.  Then I sat screaming out loud.  Guess I should have been dressed as a pumpkin and not a bee.   However there was still 5 miles in the race so I continued on for the last 5 miles and just ran through the
pain. (Mistake #1)


I was fine, or so I thought because the more I ran the better it felt, it was just getting numb I guess.  That night when I got home I iced it and went to bed,  and as expected the ankle swelled up huge for the next two days. I had it x-rayed 2 days after the incident and they saw nothing. The swelling went down and a week and 1 day later I ran a half marathon on it. (Mistake #2).  However disclaimer here:  I only ran that race because the doctor that reviewed my x-rays said this, "Michelle I don't see a break, so if all the swelling goes down and you feel fine in a week then go ahead and try the race.  You may be just fine with a little soreness."    That afternoon after the race it hurt, but not badly and it swelled up again, but within a day this time the swelling was gone, it was sore, but okay. I decided to stay off it for a while and not run which is what I should have continued doing to begin with.

2 days after this half marathon race which was now 1 week and 4 days from the original injury it was hurting so bad that I went into the Sports Medicine clinic. It was examined and determined that it was just a bad sprain, but just to rest and within 4 weeks it should feel better. I was then sent over to PT (Mistake #3 as you will read) which is where I think the worst things happened.

The physical therapist lady moved the foot around and made me do all kinds of crazy exercises to “strengthen” the ankle.  My ankle hurt so bad during some of her movements and I told her, but she said well that's normal to be sore after a sprain.   That night it was throbbing bad.  I had to ice it that night and stay off it completely.   After last Monday, November 5th my ankle throbbed and has hurt every single day progressively worse to the point that when I walk up and down stairs it feels like the ankle is separating from the foot.  I have not done any impact cardio since that Half Marathon, no Zumba, no running, nothing of impact.

By this Monday, November 12th it hurt so bad that I pleaded with the Sport's Medicine clinic to get me in asap.  I got in for a late Monday afternoon appointment, So then 2 weeks and 4 days after the original injury I went back in again to see the doctor and told him of the severe pain and how I felt that PT only made it worse. He felt around on it, did some tests on my foot and an x-ray and said that he is 90% sure that I have either a stress fracture or a Syndesmotic Sprain (in English means a high ankle sprain which can only be fixed by a cast, boot, or surgery with pins). He said he would have to get an MRI to see for sure what the heck is going on in there and from there I will hopefully be fixed.
I would have had the MRI on Monday night and then I’d know by now, but my insurance is dragging their feet since I just had an MRI on the left knee and they are trying to make sure it’s not a repeat MRI on the same spot. Anyway, so I’m just waiting for the clearance of the Insurance to authorize the MRI and then the clinic will find me a spot to squeeze into and get this picture so I can move on and heal.  Meanwhile it hurts and I just wait.  I'm sure I probably need something like a boot, or something and I have it wrapped, but wrapping it makes it throb from time to time.

Please pray it’s not super serious and that I get a call soon with that appointmentt to come in and get my MRI.  I need to get on with healing and get the ankle set right if it's broken so I can hurry and get my 6-8 weeks over with and back to running.

Caleb made it to California

I made it safely to Anaheim! California is massive, hot, and ridiculously awesome. There is lots of smog in LA. Just wanted to let you know we were safe. President and Sister Bowen are really nice. The mission is 156 missionaries big, but we are growing to over 250 in these next six months! The work is progressing at an amazing rate, and now is a great time for missionary work. That's all I have time for right now!



Love you!

Elder Clark

We made caramel

Last weekend we all made caramel for our first time ever.

 Here is the recipe if you want to make it too.

 Melt 1 cup of butter in a saucepan, then add to it 2 1/4 cups of brown sugar, 2 cups of half & half or light cream and 1 cup of Corn syrup.  Mix frequently.  After all of this comes to a temperature of 248 degrees on the candy thermometer, take off the stove and add in 1 teaspoon vanilla. Mix well and then either dip things into the caramel like apples, like we did or pour into a pan lined with parchment paper or a type of baking paper.

 The recipe said to line a pan with foil and then butter it well, however pouring hot caramel on foil is a disaster and not one I'd ever do again. It was very hard to peel the caramel off the foil when it was cool to wrap it up, so I'm not sure who's idea in the cookbook it was to pour caramel on foil, but personally I'm not sure if they had tried it themselves.

The caramel almost ready to use.

Poured out caramel in a pan.

Caramel with chopped pecans on it.

Caramel apples.  YUM!!!  And they were good.  We each had
one and then gave a couple to the missionaries that were
over for dinner.

Caleb's 2nd letter

Hey Family! Sorry it has taken so long to reply! They keep us really busy here. My companion is an amazing elder. Elder Blakley is a spiritual giant, and he has one leg. I didn't know that until the night time though when we pretended to fall in the hall and scream out in pain when his leg flipped 180 degrees. The jerk. Hes a great man though.


Yes, I've done laundry twice.

I need pajamas and flip flops. (Private stuff only for Mom and Dad was here)
They feed me too well. The food is mediocre, but theres lots of it. I need bodystep.

I love the teachers here. And the TRC, or the teaching resource center. We have investigators, referalls, and less active members that we teach to there, some of them are actors, some of them are legitimately being exposed to the church through us for the first time.

I have not bought shoes. There is no place to do that here.

I need my debit card sent out as soon as you get it, but please activate it first.

I love the provo temple. Its beatiful, and the inside is sweet. The endowments happen in one room though. There are a lot of temple workers who know minerva teichert.

It is hard, but it is very fuffilling. Also, sorry if things are misspelled, they only give us 30 minutes a week to email and it has to be done all at once so I don't bother to spell check.

If you would like to write me, please type it and print it and send it (or use DearElder.com) or write it out. I can't check email except on tuesdays, and now I wont be able to check it till im out in the field as we leave on the 13th at 5:00 am.

I am having a great time. Again, this is probably the toughest thing I have ever done, but knowing what I am a part of makes it worth it. Heavenly Father has some amazing plans in place that I am just barely getting to glance at. The fact that there are people who have been prepared for years for the eventuallity when they will meet us is something that will never cease to amaze me. God cares so much about all of us, and wants us to return to him. I have seen miracles happen in just two weeks. People can change when motivated by the Lord. I have never quite understood the stewardship that comes with being a missionary. The ability to recieve revelation for any person I run into on the earth to help them come closer to Christ is something that is scary to behold. We had an investigator who was refusing to pray, to follow up on commitments, and to do anything we asked, yet still wanted us to come over. We were prompted to bring up baptism during the lesson, which was a huge change from the plan. after what felt like forever in silence, he responded that yes, he had wondered what it would be like to be cleansed of his sins. A week later, he has committed to baptism, read the book of mormon, and prayed sincerly. This is amazing work, and I am glad I have a small part in it.



I love you and miss you.



Elder Clark

P.S. (Flight information to California was here)

Caleb's first REAL letter

Caleb FINALLY wrote home.   Caleb is on a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and currently is in the MTC (Missionary Training Center) in Provo, Utah.   Definition of P-Day is Personal Day.   Here is the typed version by me of the handwritten letter:

Dear Mom and Dad,

Sorry for the short letter, I just wanted to let you know that I am fine.  P-Day went so fast, but I got to go to the temple and we had a devotional by Elder Clarke tonight, of the Seventy.  It's truly amazing how strong God's love is.  Even though this has so far been the toughest experience of my life, God is constantly here, picking up the slack.  We have 3 investigators who are really cool.  Javier is a Spanish art/culture Professor at USU who got introduced to us through another professor.

I have lots of stuff to tell you, but my zone leaders are Punks and insist that I don't write or read letters on email till P-Day, which I missed yesterday because our zone had to move to a new building.

I promise to write on next Tuesday, to you, grandma and grandpa, and the rest of the fam.

The spirit is amazing.  I have watched it change peoples lives in just a week, including my own.  Even though this is hard and I miss people, I know this is where I belong.  The Lord has called me to this great and marvelous work for a reason, and I know there are people who are being prepared by the Lord for the day we meet.

I love you guys and miss you lots.

Love,
Elder J. Caleb Clark

P.S.  Please get my Jacob's address, and Rosies and Beccas and Holly.  Call Jacob and he will get you that info.  Please tell Jacob I am not allowed to email outside of my family, and will write accordingly.

I gave notice

I’ve been feeling for a while that I needed to not be working full time. WHY?

Well there are so many reasons, the main one being my family. I have greatly missed being home in the morning to send them off to school and then be home when they return to be the first to greet them and ask them how their day was.

It hit me hard this past summer when I couldn’t spend one single day with my children who were home for the summer just because I had no personal days or vacation days built up yet and the days I was earning I had to save to take a small trip in September. We all managed to take that one small vacation in September, but that was so everyone could watch me run a marathon in a different state. I’m sure they didn’t care, as such most of them told me they’d rather be in school.

The extra income has been great and some of it will be missed, but as Jason put it the other night, “More money can be made.” That made me think, Yes more money can be made, you can’t go back in time to recapture the memories you lost because you were at work all the time. Since I have the choice to be home, I’m going to do just that.

Since we don’t absolutely need the full time income (would be nice to put my children in more sports, activities, lessons, private school, get tutors, etc.) we really only need part time income to be able to pay the bills and eat. There are so many things we can do without and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to be home more. If I have to babysit, or work when they are sleeping, I’d rather do that then miss the moments when they are home awake.

Yesterday I sent in my notice to my employer that I was ready to go to part time employment and asked if there were any positions here part time. He said that this company doesn’t do part time positions anymore. I told him I didn’t want benefits, just needed less hours. Because there is nothing here for me for less hours I needed to quit my job here. I gave him a 7 week and 3 day notice (very generous I felt). My last day is December 21st so that my last paycheck will be before the end of the year and as such I will still get to spend the entire Christmas vacation with my family.
The stress that has lifted off my body has been massive. I feel so much better and I feel like dancing, although right now that would be impossible since I have a sprained ankle.

I hope to find a great part time job, however if that doesn’t happen for a while then my house will get really clean and some much needed projects will finally be completed.

This says it all