Letter from Caleb 1-16-12

The following is a letter from my oldest son who is on a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Anaheim, CA. 

Read on if you want.  Names changed for privacy.

This is going to be a bit of a departure from my normal letters, as I spent a lot of time writing it in my journal so I could get it just right, and I want to write it here as well. I don't know if President or the office called you, but I spent some time in the ER on Sunday. Here's my entry:

Please beware, this is not for those who can not deal with descriptions of poop. Or vomit.

Monday, Jan 14

Last night was the worst night of my life. By far. We had dinner at the (a house in CA), which was good! Barbecue beef with provolone cheese and pasta salad. She had BTS cake as well.

During church (9-12) I hadn't felt good but I wrote it off. Ward Council was at 7:30 so I hadn't eaten breakfast. After church the truck elders brought us home and dropped off two bikes (Elder Cannon got hit by a car and his bike was trashed) and then we rode to (Mattie's), a new 14 Year Old investigator with a date to teach him about the plan of salvation. Still not feeling well, we tried to meet Sue and Cara on the other side of the area, and of course Shannon pretended like she wasn't home. So we rode to Justin's but he wasn't home. We rode to the apartment to do the 3 hours of study we needed to do still. 

I didn't feel great at this point but I assumed it was because I hadn't eaten yet. As we studied I was eating those Sugar free lemon heads/drops I had. At 5:10 we back up for dinner (at 5:30) and I realize I have eaten all the lemon heads/drops. I really don't feel good at this point. 

We bike to dinner and start eating. I don't feel hungry but eat as to not be rude. I tell Elder Healey I need a blessing when we get back as I am now feeling waves of intense discomfort. We eat desert, go into the family room and give a short message. By this point I was in pain. We left the house, and as soon as I got out the door it hits me hard. Severe stomach pain. I try to bike/walk out of the gated community and across the bridge and decide to bike home. It would hurt for a bit but then a wave of intense pain would smash me. 

We got back to the apartment (after the hardest ride of my life) and I laid down on the floor in the fetal position. Santiago Creek Elders came over and gave me a short blessing. We call Sister Bowen and let her know I am demonstrating signs of appendicitis (according to the missionary medical workbook) and she directs us to urgent care on Chapman. We get there and of course it was closed. We call President Bowen and he says not to go to the ER yet but to go to the Urgent Care in Anaheim by the Angles Stadium. We race across Orange and Santa Ana, get to the Urgent Care, only to wait half an hour to get in. The doctor lays me down, pokes my abdomen a few times to the tune of my screams, and tells me we need to go the the ER immediately as he says it is appendicitis. What a waste of $160 bucks. 

Elder Walker started speeding toward St. Joseph's. He got on the 57 North instead of South (I would assume he was pretty stressed out by the my moans) and for the first time of the night I begin to be fearful. He gets off at Katella. We are speeding east toward Main when my mouth starts to water. I knew from tonsillitis last May that I was going to throw up. I was able to stop making noise long enough to tell E. Walker to pull over. He obliged and I  proceeded to vomit all over a sidewalk in Anaheim. After 10 Minutes or so, the pain was returning in full force but I couldn't vomit anymore. We got back in the car, rolled down the windows, and returned to speeding down Katella in the the freezing night. We hit Main suddenly and turned over 3 lanes to turn right. Speeding down Main (going 80) we pass a cop who thankfully didn't even try to stop us (he should have) and we got to St. Josephs. Elder Healey and I jump out of the car, and attempt to get in the front doors as the other elders whip out of the lane to find parking. The doors were locked, but Elder Healey pulls them open anyway and a guard freaks out at us. Then the guard sees me (vomit was all over my shirt and tie) and just starts freaking out in general. He points us toward the ER (outside the building and around another) and we hobble toward it. We walk through a restricted hallway and outside, where I see the distant red glowing of what had to be the emergency room sign. Elder Healey runs ahead and I fall on the my knees, offering the 8th prayer of the night. I finally get to the entrance, and Elder walker and Herron "apparate" behind me. A security guard directs us into the abnormally busy ER. Healey grabs the paperwork and starts filling it out as I collapse into a chair. I realize the looks I am drawing from the mexicans who I am sharing the waiting room with are a humorus mix of intrigued and horrified. I laugh, coughing a little more vomit on my shirt at which point it stops being funny and there are a lot of gasps. I stand and try to find a bathroom, knowing time is short. I find one, but to my utter dismay it is locked. 

I say "Heavenly Father, Please open this door!" and to my surprise a man opens the door and walks out. I rush in, lock the door, and vomit into the toilet. Not a moment later I realize I have other needs at this point. I unbuckle my belt and barely make it on the toilet as I let out a barrage of the worst kind into the frothy waters. For now, I feel better. I clean up and go to the sink to wash my hands. I happened to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and it scared me. It was one of those times when you see yourself for how you truly look, when you don't mean to. I saw the most pathetic looking creature in the mirror at that moment. I saw some guy with a pale, sweaty face, hair mated to his forehead, bright red eyes, and the most helpless look on his face. 

I grabbed paper towels and wipe barbecued beef off of my shirt and splashed cold water on my face. I left the bathroom and signed a bunch of forms for a nurse. Half an hour later (seriously, have people ever died waiting for help in an ER?) they grab me to do metrics. No fever, but high blood pressure. They send me and Elder Walker to room 5. I have to find another bathroom. 

After repeating my earlier tricks in the bathroom, I go to the room and dress in the hospital gown. I lay on the bed and a nurse comes in and pokes my arm for an IV, which she starts flowing saline through after getting blood. A doctor comes in later and tells me he is concerned it could be kidney stones, but I need a CT scan to know for sure. They put me on an anti-nausea med. The pain is a 4-5 constantly, with the waves hitting 8-9. 

A bit later, after I have already prepared myself to pass rocks out of a straw, Jason from CT gets me and rolls me down the halls (a ride I hope I never have again) to the scanner, where he explains everything he is doing and afterward covers me in blankets from an oven. As I was shivering, I was so thankful to him for that. It was the first time I had started to feel comfort. 

He wheeled me back to room 5, and a nurse tells me she is giving me 5 MG of Morphine. She does, my head feels like it is burning, but the pain doesn't leave me. She starts a medicine called  "Torvold" or something like that in a pump. It doesn't do anything except release my lower abdomen muscles, causing me to do something I hadn't done since diapers. An older nurse named Lisa came in when she heard the great trumpet noise and saw Elder Walker's horrified face. Just when I thought I could drop no lower into embarrassment she rolls me over and cleans me up. 

Sigh.

I ask Elder Walker to read me something I had pasted into my planner this transfer from Elder Ronald A. Rasband, who gave a talk in April called "Special Lessons".

"This life is training for eternal exhaltation  and that process means tests and trials. It has always been so, and no one is spared.

"Trusting in God's will is central to our mortality. With faith in Him, we draw upon the power of Christ's Atonement at those times when questions abound and answers are few....

"Though we will face trials, adversities, disabilities, heartaches, and all manner of afflictions, our caring, loving Savior will always be there for us. He promised:

"'I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you....

"'My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.'"

Hearing those words brought tremendous ease to my soul. Though the pain was almost unbearable, my dignity was totally taken, and a sense of eternal embarrassment wrapped me tighter than the cold in our apartment, I began to feel peace. I was not alone, and this too would pass. I began to recognize all the little miracles that had filled my night. Everything from being able to be in places where I wouldn't make a mess, to having doors open when they did, to having a dinner that wasn't something that would taste horrible a second time. I certainly began to see how "the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance."

I was humbled this weekend. The nurse, who had experienced Gastro enthro(something) before and who was also a mother, informed me that I was well on my way to delivering a healthy child. I am uncertain why I had to go through this, but I know that I was helped and that I was not alone. I now know what it feels like to be a form of yourself incapable of taking care of yourself. Perhaps this will come in handy later on in life. 

I am so thankful for the prayers I have had with me this past week. We had a rocking week, in which we committed 4 people to baptism, taught 17 really meaningful lessons, and went on exchanges twice. I learned just how great the zone leaders I have are, and just how much they care for me. We have a really strong zone, and I know we are all going to be called upon soon to train. President Bowen said all missionaries currently serving  in our mission will be training within the next 6 months. 

I am thankful we are having as much success as we are having, and for the cool weather as I hate it being hotter than 70 every day. (That's a jab at all those who are freezing right now :P)

A few other things:

Yes, it has been really cold here lately. Upper 30's and mid 40's. Yes we get fed well, usually. Yes, I think I have enough money, but I recently spent some on bike repairs. 

Our Chase cards are gone now, and we just got moved to Bank of America ones. Sucks for Chase as they would have had twice the business in a few months.

That's all. Ill email on Monday when I feel better.