Letter from Caleb 11-12-12

Here is a letter I received handwritten in the mail, not by e-mail so it's taken me a little while to type it up.  I have changed the names for privacy of the individuals he is teaching.  So the person #1 will be Andrew and person #2 in the letter will be Tom.  P-Day is preperation day, the day you get everything done you don't normally do on a mission like wash your clothing, write letters home, check your e-mail (on your missionary e-mail account), shop at the store, etc.

Hola Famigla,

So Today was really tough.  It was P-Day, and after we went to In-N-Out and had Burgers.  Super good.  we went to the family history library to check our e-mail and print off stuff on the "other churches" for an understanding on what other churches believe.  Family history library is closed.  So we go to the commons and print it off.

Then we got a text from (a person we are teaching right now, real name hidden for privacy reasons,) Andrew.  This man takes care of a middle aged Deaf and Autistic man named (real name hidden for privacy)Tom.

Andrew is always nice when we go over to teach him.  And such a kind soul to take care of Tom.  Taking care of Tom is Andrew's income.

Tom died tonight at 6:30 p.m.  Andrew loved Tom.  I loved Tom.  And now he's just gone.  He had a heart attack and Andrew called 911, Did CPR and tried to bring him back.  Heavenly Father had other plans for Tom although.   Andrew is broken.  I've never seen a man just loose it, but now Andrew has nothing.  No family, no home now, no income, and no close friends.  He literally collapsed and lost it.  I feel such an overwhelming sense of loss for Andrew and for loosing Tom.

The only other time I've felt like this is when you told me that Laila was gone.  I hid it well, but every night for a week, I cried.  I kept asking God why he would take such a perfect thing, such a pure soul, from parents and a family who cared for her so much.  Being told she was in a better place didn't help much, even though it was true.  I didn't even know her.  The thought she was gone hurt, but it didn't even begin to compare to how I felt every time I thought of her Mom.  How difficult it must be for her to feel what she feels.  Knowing it's not her fault, but still wondering why she had to face such a significant trial.

Sometimes, when you are in the celestial room of the temple, if you close your eyes and listen, you can hear the whisperings of the spirit.  Sometimes, you can almost hear others, not physically in the room but present none the less.

When I was in the Provo Temple, I asked Heavenly Father for comfort and to know Laila was ok.  The spirit was so strong, I felt like when I opened my eyes I would see Jesus.  When I opened them, I didn't see him, but I felt the strongest feeling, and I realized that this was a House of the Lord.  Just because I haven't seen the Lord or Angels, doesn't mean they weren't there.  I know Tom is in a better place.  I am sorrowful not because he is gone, but because Andrew does not yet know what I know:  THAT HE LIVES! I wish I could grab Andrew by the shoulders and help him to understand that because of the magnificent love the Savior showed to us by completing the Atonement, we can be saved, and live again with our Father in Heaven, whose love for us is far beyond comprehension.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my God knows me personally, and listens to my prayers.  I have had experiences, inside and out of the temple that are too sacred to share, but if I can do nothing else, I wish to share my testimony to all who will hear it.

Heavenly Father knows who you are.  He has always and will forever.  He knows what you struggle with, what your fears are, even what your deepest secrets are.  He loves you and wants you to return to be with Him.  Never forget that, for he never forgets you.  Never fall short.  Never settle for anything less than you can be.

Mom and Dad, stop doing things to hurt yourself!  If you die before I'm done, too bad, I'm staying here on my mission until my purpose has been fulfilled   So stop tearing things, spraining things, and otherwise hurting yourself.

Love,

Elder Clark