We have some friends who have 4 young children - a four year old daughter and a set of 16 month old triplets. I was at their house for about an hour last night watching their children while they were out and went through their bedtime routine with them. Their oldest child told me what they did and helped me pull out the story pillows and little books for the triplets (or birds, as she calls them). I read them Goldilocks and then we said prayer and sang a primary song. It was obvious to me that this was a nightly routine in their family as it was followed without question. Granted, they are young which makes this infinately easier but it was none the less impressive that this little family was establishing such good routines so early. I thought to my own family and wished that we had done a little better job of establishing those habits. We are very good about family prayer and hold FHE as often as you can with all the school and work schedules of a house full of teenagers. Our family scripture study is not as regular as I wish it was - again the whole schedule thing. I have been tempted to have two rounds of scripture study a day - one with the seminary aged boys before they go off to seminary and the other with the ones who get to sleep in a bit. Again, this is a routine I should have established years ago when the resistance level was low. There are days when I am just thankful that they are going to seminary.
Believe it or not, I miss the days of scraped knees, tending children in the foyer, and cleaning barf off the floor - at least compared to what we are going through now. Teenagers are not that fun. Let's be honest with ourselves. They really aren't. They are mouthy, angry, and disrespectful. I am having a difficult time finding joy in parenthood. I often wonder if this is my fault. What if I had been stricter? What if I had been like a friend of mine who wakes his entire family up at 5 am to read scriptures? Would that have made a difference? Like every parent, I worry that my children will not make the correct decisions. I know they have been taught the correct principles but have I done enough with each of them to escape the condemnation of God that settles on the shoulders of parents who don't fulfill their duties?
Perhaps Caleb's decisions are a partial answer to that question. He recieved the Melchesidek Priesthood a couple of weeks ago and is set on serving a mission. He is making the right choices in his life. I just hope that his brothers follow his example. Although they won't believe me, a lot of unhappiness comes from disobedience.
It all started with Michelle Lewis from Ohio, and Jason Clark from California. We met on a bus in Chicago in January of 1992. This is a blog that documents our crazy life.
4 comments:
Jason, believe it or not, I still have worries about my own children. As I watched all of you in the Denver Temple the thought came that said, "If I died right now, my children would be ok. They are stable spiritually and they can take care of themselves." But I also know that Satan doesn't want any families to succeed - so much can still go wrong in a child's life, no matter the age. Divorce, broken health, loss of a child or spouse, loss of a job, constant discouragement in the struggles (parenting, finances, etc.) that I find myself worrying that we will not complete the journey or endure to the end. Will we all have the strength it takes to raise our families? That includes me. I am not needed so much these days, but my prayers in your behalf are never ceasing. I don't know how far up beyond the clouds they reach, but I pray for every one of my children so they will not break those covenants they have made with God and each other. The worry of parenting is never over in this mortal life. I noticed that when your children are away from you, they are respectful and kind and wonderful. That's the way it is with most kids. (Unfortunately.) You have raised them well enough to know how to act. They just know how to get under your skin. Keep trying. It's worth it when you see them in the temple, on missions, married to a wonderful spouse, with children of their own. You get the picture. Don't give up! Love them, discipline them and love them some more. You are a great dad and you have some pretty awesome children.
Congratulations to Caleb on getting the Melchizedek Priesthood. That is fantastic!
You are a great parent Jason. Like Mom said, I think you will always worry about your kids--that means you love them.
I reinstated the parental controls on Dan's phone. Apparently trusting him to make responsible decisions about when to put the phone up at night was not the right thing to do. He came storming up to our room at 9:30 when he couldn't text anymore asking us what our problem was. After explaining what I was doing and why (and reminding him that he had been warned), he stormed out telling us to grow up. I am still chuckling.
The texting thing is really amazing. Why would someone not just pick up the phone and call? I know, it is because they will get an answering machine.
I remember a commentary at BYU about the over use of memos in departments. The comment was why not just go down to your co-workers office and talk for a minute. Relationships are built that way, now through memos.
Brent told me once that it might me valuable to be able to get a text in a meeting instead of being interupted. That may be true. But what emergency is so important that it cannot wait until after the meeting.
I am not anti-technology. However, my fingers do not want to even lean to text. To see signs on the interstate in Iowa that warn about texting and dying in the process is telling.
I had enough trouble learning to type, let alone messing it up by texting.
Have Dan read this if you want. He probably will just think I am a crazy old man. Someday maybe he will remember.
Dad Clark
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